Greatest Jazz Nicknames

Now that I’ve discussed my favorite names in Jazz history (yesterday), here comes the big test: best nicknames ever.

I’ll start by tossing out the bad ones, derived by just using the initials or mangling the name: D-Will, B-Russ, O.P., Big T, C-Mo, Booz, K-Fes, Big O, A.D., etc.

I have to nominate Slick Willie (Deron Williams) and Little John (Stockton) as two of the all-time flops. A lot of people must agree, because neither name ever stuck, nor did Fade (Jeff Malone). I doubt Money is ever really going to stay with Mehmet Okur, either.

In the middle, I’ll put a few I liked just OK: Big Dog (Antoine Carr), Big Brown Bear (Mike Brown), Golden Griff (Darrell Griffith) and Blue Eddie (Blue Edwards). I never liked Mailman all that much, just because I got sick of it. And because it wasn’t all that original.

Horny (Jeff Hornacek) was too obvious.

Here are my all-tie favorite Jazz nicknames, in descending order:

10. Crisco (Larry Krystkowiak). Anything that leads to pie crust is fine by me.
9. Memo (Mehmet Okur). Something about taking and sending memos really works.
8. Goose (Mel Counts). He never played in Utah, but it’s a visual that lasts.
7. “Gentle Ben” Poquette. “Gentle “could be applied to a lot of Jazz players.
6. Yada, or Yatta (Sundiata Gaines). If you steal a line from “Seinfeld,” it’s bound to stick.

From here on, it gets tough to pick.

5.”Pistol Pete” Maravich. An all-time classic.
4. Darryl “Chocolate Thunder” Dawkins. Only in Utah four games, but his self-appointed moniker will always bring smiles.
3. Lou B. Free (Luther Wright). You never heard this nickname because only Jazz teammate Tom Chambers called him that. It referred to Wright’s free spirit.
2. “Dinner Bell” Mel Turpin. Mean, perhaps. But you had to be there.

And the No. 1 All-Time Jazz nickname:

Billy “The Whopper” Paultz. Couldn’t jump. Couldn’t move. But he sure could take an Hakeem Olajuwon sucker punch. Long live short shorts. Long live the Whopper.

Any good (or bad) ones I missed?