Apologizing the right way
I see where NFL songster Hank Williams Jr. has apologized for comparing President Barack Obama to Hitler. Glad to see it. But what I’m not happy about is the way he apologized. He did it the way athletes often do, too: By hinting that somehow, some way, someone irrationally took offense.
Williams wrote in his apology, “The thought of the leaders of both parties jukin’ [sic] and high fiven’ [sic] on a golf course, while so many families are struggling to get by, simply made me boil over and make a dumb statement, and I am very sorry if it offended anyone.”
If it offended anyone?
Of course it offended people; otherwise, it wouldn’t be a story!
Speaking of boiling over, I’m getting tired of athletes’ and entertainers’ weak apologies. On one hand, their p.r. people get them set up for damage control. Then comes the non-apology apology. For instance, when former Nets coach John Calipari made a racial remark at Newark Star-Ledger writer Dan Garcia, he insisted he was joking when he called Garcia “a Mexican idiot.”
“In retrospect, I can understand how the remark could have been misinterpreted,” he said.
I know Dan Garcia, and it wasn’t misinterpreted.
When then-Dallas Cowboys coach Bill Parcells apologized for an inappropriate racial reference, his explanation included this: “I prefaced it with the remark, ‘no disrespect to anyone intended,’ It was still uncalled for and inconsiderate. For that I apologize to anyone who may have been offended.”
Again, “anyone who may have been offended.”
How about now just assuming you offended people? No “may have been” about it.
When former Colorado coach Gary Barnett was asked about kicker Katie Hnida’s abilities – she claimed to have been sexually assaulted by a player — the coach said: “It was obvious Katie was not very good. She was awful. You know what guys do? They respect your ability. You can be 90 years old, but if you can go out and play, they’ll respect you. Katie was not only a girl, she was terrible. OK? There’s no other way to say it. She couldn’t kick the ball through the uprights.”
In his apology Barnett said: “I sincerely regret that yesterday a portion of my remarks were either misinterpreted or taken out of context, and I apologize for answering that question in a manner where I must have come across as insensitive …”
Yeah, must have.
To me, one of the better apologies actually came from the much-maligned Michael Vick, who was convicted of organizing dog fights.
He said: “I offer my deepest apologies to everybody out in there in the world who was affected by this whole situation. And if I’m more disappointed with myself than anything it’s because of all the young people, young kids that I’ve let down, who look at Michael Vick as a role model. And to have to go through this and put myself in this situation, you know, I hope that every young kid out there in the world watching this interview right now who’s been following the case will use me as an example to using better judgment and making better decisions.
“Once again, I offer my deepest apologies to everyone. And I will redeem myself. I have to.”
Did you catch that? He apologized to “everyone” and “everybody,” not “anybody” or “anyone.”
It’s subtle, but it makes all the difference in the world.